POINTS TO STUDY
·
Listen and learn how to make a clear, stronger,
and effective email message in English, of course.
·
Establish how to review your e-mail message
이메일의 유용성은 더이상 논란거리가 되지 않을만큼, 오늘날 이메일은 중요한 communication 수단으로 각광을
받고 있고, 최근의 통계에 의하면 지구인이 하루동안 주고 받는 이메일 메세지의 수가 지구의 전체 인구수 보다
많다고 합니다. 그러나 우리중 얼마나 많은 분들이 영문 이메일을 자유롭게 그리고 자신있게 작성할수 있을까요? 오늘은 간단한듯 하지만 의외로 여러가지를 생각해야만 하는
비즈니스 이메일 작성법에 대한 강의를 들어 봅니다.
오늘 비디오의 남자 나레이터의 음성이 상당히 깨끗하고 말의 속도 또한 아주 마음에 쏙 들만큼 적당 합니다. 또한 사용되는 단어들 또한 평이한 수준이라 받아쓰기에 아주
적절한 교재 입니다. 모두다 받아 적을
필요는 없겠지만, 스크립트를 가리시고 알아듣기 힘든 부분만 집중적으로 받아쓰기 하시면 되겠습니다.
VIDEO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDkLz0RS_PU
SCRIPT, LISTENING TIPS, & GRAMMAR
All right. Let’s take a look at the e-mail from Simon. I will begin / by reading through it, and while I’m doing that, I would like you / to see if you can spot some of the errors we’re going to fix. Remember, we’re looking for problems in mechanics, style, and tone. First, we’ll look at the mechanics. By that I mean, the grammar, spelling, layout, and punctuation. Then, we’ll look at the style, and tone / of the writing. Style / is the way we use words / and Tone / is the overall impression / or feeling / that the words create.
The subject is / broadcast faulty message procedure. And e-mail begins Hi All. First paragraph: [see screen] And then the closing salutation.
Let’s start / by discussing background to this e-mail. Who is the writer, who are the readers, and what is the e-mail’s purpose. We can see from the salutation, Hi all, that is addressed to more than one person. And we know from Simon / that this is an internal company e-mail. Simon is writing to some other employees at the same company where he works. And the purpose of the e-mail is to inform his colleagues about a new error message procedure / and to invite them / to a demonstration. These are all things to keep in mind / as we make changes to the text.
Now, first, let’s examine the mechanics of this e-mail. By mechanics, I mean // formatting, punctuation and grammar. We can see right away that this e-mail is clearly organized into paragraphs, with each paragraph making a separate point. The first paragraph identifies problem, which is the reason the e-mail is being written. The second paragraph proposes a solution / and asks readers to help Simon put the solution in place.
Now, let’s think about how we can improve the formatting, punctuation, and grammar of this e-mail. Beginning with the first paragraph, right away / we see a couple of mistakes in grammar. Simon begins by saying, “As discuss with Client delivery team”. This verb needs to be a past participle. We add an –ed / and it become as discussed. The phrase “Client delivery team” needs a the before it since it’s noun. And as you can see, we also have two mistakes in capitalization. The words client and when / shouldn’t be capitalized / since they aren’t the first words in the sentence. Finally we need to change the punctuation of this last phrase. Right now / it’s punctuated as if it were complete sentence // even though it actually completes the thought / that’s been expressed in the rest of the paragraph. So instead of a full stop / and capital W here, we need to substitute a comma / and a small w. This turns the entire paragraph into a single complete sentence, which is what we want.
The second paragraph / doesn’t have any real problems with mechanics. The only change, I’d like to make is spell out this abbreviation, mins, which is short for minutes. It’s not a good idea to use abbreviations / unless they’re really necessary / since a business email needs to have a formal style. All right, let’s move on to look at the style of this e-mail, and in some ways it might be improved. I think we should first look at the subject line. “Broadcast Faulty message procedure.” The main problem here / is the vocabulary. In English, we have some standard phrases for describing computer technology. When a computer displays a message to report a problem, we refer to this as an error message, not a faulty message. So we need to change this word from faulty to error, and shouldn’t be capitalized, either. And we also have to make the same change in the first paragraph / from faulty to error. Even after we correct the vocabulary, I think the meaning of the subject line isn’t very clear. If you read the body of the e-mail, you can see that what Simon is talking about / is the procedure that the company should use when it broadcasts / error messages. But, it’s not easy to understand this, just by reading the subject line. So, let’s create a prepositional phrase to make it completely clear / and easy to read. We can say / “Procedure for broadcasting error messages.” And / since we are not talking about just one message, we want this last word messages to be plural, and we need to make / messages plural in the first paragraph as well. Now if you look at the very end of this paragraph, you can see that we have / exactly the same problem / that we had in the subject line.
This final phrase / “check all PBX lines status” / is confusing / because it’s missing some of the very short English words / that we use to add structure to our writing / such as articles and prepositions. We should begin / by moving a word, status / toward the front of sentence / close to the main verb, which is / check. Let’s delete / status at the end, and move it up / here, where we also need to add an article, the. Now we have check / the status and we need to add preposition / of, so the last phrase becomes / we also need to check the status / of all PBX lines. Now what about style problems in the second paragraph? I see two things we need to change. Simon’s used a wrong preposition / when he says to demonstrate the work procedure / in his PC. That should be / on his PC. I also think we need to make the last phrase of this paragraph a little clearer. When he says / around 15 minutes / in parentheses, what he means is / that the demonstration will last / about 15 minutes. I’m going to remove the parentheses and create a complete sentence to express that thought. The demonstration will take / around 15 minutes. I think that covers all the style changes we need to make.
So finally / let’s go back and re-read the entire email from the problems of / tone. Starting with the salutation, beginning a business email with / Hi all, seems to make a tone of little too informal / even though this is an internal company memo. So, let’s change the greeting to / Dear Colleagues, and remember that we want to capitalize each word / in a salutation. I don’t think the first paragraph has any issues of tone. But. in the second paragraph, I think we should change this introductory phrase / if you have no problem. Remember, we want to avoid using negative words like / problem / if we can help it. Instead, let’s try to stress the positive aspects of this sentence. Simon wants to help his colleagues to solve the problem, and he wants to make things as easy as possible for his colleagues. So, we can say something like: “if it’s convenient for you” to emphasize / the writer’s willingness to cooperate, and with those changes, I think we made Simon’s email a lot clearer, stronger and more effective. So let’s hit send / and get this message out to his colleagues.
- 이 비디오를 듣고 받아쓰면서 중요하다고 생각한 것은, 바로 문장을 고치는데 더
중점을 두는 기준이 바로 style과 tone 이라는 점입니다. 우리가 흔히 저지르기 쉬운 영작상의 실수가,
바로 “문법이 정확하면 everything is OK!” 의 함정 입니다.
영어시험을 치르는데는 맞는 표현일지 모르지만, 비즈니스 영어나, 개인간의 실재 대화에 있어서 문법은 그렇게 크게 신경 쓰지 않지만, 이 tone과 style은 큰 영향을 미치게 됩니다.
튿히 이런종류의 비즈니스 메모 혹은 이메일에 있어서 이점을 간과 한다면, 불특정 다수에게 자신의 carelessness 혹은 recklessness를 사정없이 전달하게 되어, 원하지 않는 선입견을 줄수도 있는 굉장히 위험한 결과를 초래 할수도 있다는 점 입니다.
대체로 한국에서 날라오는 영문 이메일들의 일반적으로 가장 큰 문제점이 전 개인적으로 이 tone이 거의 무시된다는 것입니다. 한글에서 아 다르고 어 다르다는 말이 있듯이, 영어에서도 특히 비즈니스 관련 해서는 문장의 tone이 상상 이상의 중요성을 가져서 예상외의 결과를 불러 오기도 합니다.
미국인은 개방적이고 실질적인 결과에 더 무게중심을 둔다는 말은 일부 사실 입니다. 그러나 어쩌면 미국인들이 더욱 더 보수적인 사고방식을 가진 사람들 일수도 있다는 사실은 그들의 작문 스타일과 톤에서 드러나게 됩니다. 오늘의 비디오가 좋은 예라고 할수 있습니다.
- 이런 3가지 중요한 점들에
(mechanics, style, tone) 입각해서 아주 신중하게 잘 작성된 이메일 한통이 수백만 혹은 수천만
달러어치의 가치를 가질수도 있다는 점에서 영문 이메일로 communication을 할 때 보다 더 신중한 접근이 필요 하다고 하겠습니다.
- Bizpod에서는 총
4편의 이메일 작성요령을 설명하는 비디오를 유튜브에 올려 놓았습니다. 오늘 비디오를 들어 보시고 도움이 되신다면 나머지
비디오들도 함께 올려 드리겠습니다.
VOCABULARY
- if you can spot
some of the errors, v. To
detect or discern, especially visually;
Can you spot any spots on my new audio system?
- that is addressed
to more than one person. , v.
To speak to:
Obama addressed the audience in low tones, but gave clear messages for the new world!
- the e-mail is to inform his colleagues, v. to make aware of
something
You should inform any illegal activities to the authority.
- Now, let’s think about how we can improve, v.
to make something better
Keep dictating what you listen so as to improve your listening skill.
- that’s been expressed
in the rest of the paragraph. , v. to state; describe.
Your idea and plan are clearly expressed in your writing.
- I’d like to make is spell out this, v. To make perfectly clear and understandable: Could you please spell
out your objectives for the meeting?
- abbreviation, mins, which is short for minutes. , n. A shortened form of a
word or phrase
What is the abbreviation for the Korean Airline? It’s KAL.
- Parentheses, n. 괄호 (..)
Instead of parentheses, you should use brackets, like [JenniferESL].
- we want to avoid using negative words like / problem,
v. To keep from
happening.
Are you running away to avoid the confrontation?
- “if it’s convenient
for you” , a. favorable
to one's comfort
When could it be the most convenient for you to call me?
- to emphasize
/ the writer’s willingness to cooperate, v. to stress on something.
Willingness is a good way to emphasize your enthusiasm on the job.
TODAY’S PRONUNCIATION
Learning English Pronunciation - IMPETUS - #250
PREVIEW FOR TOMORROW
내일 제니퍼의 강의는 지난주에 소개된 일반적인 natural rhythmic pattern 에 더해서 이들 리듬을 프리토킹 (free speech)에 어떻게 적용하는가를 강의 합니다. 원리를 알았으니 이젠 응용법을 배울 차례입니다. 빼먹지 마시고 꼭꼭 씹어서 맛나게 입과 귀를 통해서 소화 하시길 바랍니다…! 3편의 비디오가 한꺼번에 소개 됩니다.
