Script by Eric
LETTERMAN: Whoopi Goldberg, ladies and gentlemen! How're ya doin'?
Whoopi: I'm doin' good. You're having a heckuva good time, aren't you?
LETTERMAN: It's exciting.
WHOOPI: It really is.
LETTERMAN: It's a lot of fun, isn't it?
WHOOPI: It's really nice when you're vindicated.
LETTERMAN: I don't know. I don't really have a dog in this fight. It's just fun.
WHOOPI: It is.
LETTERMAN: Yeah. How're ya' doin'? How are things at The View? How long have you been there at that show?
WHOOPI: Two years.
LETTERMAN: Two years?
WHOOPI: Yeah.
LETTERMAN: I was gonna say six months. Isn't it crazy how the time just blows right by?
WHOOPI: Yes, yes it is.
LETTERMAN: Now, take us through a day at the view. How do you – you gotta know everything when you show up. You gotta be expected to know everything that's goin' on. And is there a briefing? Are you always reading? What do you do?
WHOOPI: Yeah, you're reading a lot. You know, you're going in and having conversations during the makeup session and such.
LETTERMAN: Right.
WHOOPI: And then you're getting dressed and then you're going out and hoping for the best.
LETTERMAN: And you're always – are you always looking for controversy, or it just happens right there on the show?
WHOOPI: You know, there hasn't been any controversy since I've been there.
LETTERMAN: Mm-hmm.Really?
WHOOPI: I would think, yeah. So I don't know. We might be looking for it, but we haven't found it quite yet. I'm sure somethin' will come along.
LETTERMAN: Do you find in the world there are things – and I know this is true; it's human nature – things that you're interested in, things you're not interested in.
WHOOPI: Yeah.
LETTERMAN: What things don't you care about that you gotta talk about?
WHOOPI: Oh, you know – reality stuff.
LETTERMAN: Right.
WHOOPI: Who's doing whom. I don't – you know, I don't care. I care about who's doing me. That's what's important to me as far as I can tell.
LETTERMAN: The world would be a much better place if we all just cared about that.
WHOOPI: Yeah!
LETTERMAN: Not who's doing you. You know, our individual interests.
WHOOPI: Well, that too, though.
LETTERMAN: Well, sure. Why not? Look out for each other as best we can. Now let's go through it. You've won an Academy Award.
WHOOPI: Yeah.
LETTERMAN: Stop me if I come to the end of this list prematurely.
WHOOPI: OK.
LETTERMAN: A Grammy.
WHOOPI: Yes.
LETTERMAN: A comedy album.
WHOOPI: Yes.
LETTERMAN: A Tony, work I producing – and also performing, or just producing?
WHOOPI: Just performing.
LETTERMAN: OK. Performing?
WHOOPI: Just producing.
LETTERMAN: OK. Emmys.
WHOOPI: Yes.
LETTERMAN: And an Olympic bronze, was it?
WHOOPI: Yes. Yes it was.
LETTERMAN: What am I leaving out here?
WHOOPI: I think – a Tony, Emmy – [GARBLED] – Emmy, Tony – I don't know. I got a lot of 'em.
LETTERMAN: Yeah. But only about a dozen people in the world have run the table on those. They don't – not everybody gets every award in every show business discipline.
WHOOPI: Listen, how lucky am I? I – nobody even sometimes gets an award.
LETTERMAN: Well, that's right.
WHOOPI: So I'm feelin' pretty good about it. And it's very nice to have 'em, I tell ya. I like lookin' at 'em when I remember where I put 'em.
LETTERMAN: Because it's a little reminder that, “By God, look what I've been able to achieve here.”
WHOOPI: Yeah. It's also, you know, so – yeah, this is dopey, I know. It's a reminder that dreams can come true and certain things you always hoped would happen do happen and occasionally, you know, luck.
LETTERMAN: Well, it's a nice pat on the back –
WHOOPI: It is.
LETTERMAN: – for somebody who is well deserving.
WHOOPI: Thank you.
LETTERMAN: Yeah. Now, Whoopi, and you knew Marlon Brando? You were friends with Marlon Brando?
WHOOPI: I was.
LETTERMAN: How did that – did you work together somewhere?
WHOOPI: No, I – my agent called me one day and said Marlon Brando wants to talk to you.
LETTERMAN: Mm-hmm.
WHOOPI: And I said, “Yeah, OK.”
LETTERMAN: Right.
WHOOPI: “Give him my phone number, here.”
LETTERMAN: You thought it was a gag.
WHOOPI: I thought they were kidding. And a couple of hours later my phone rang and that voice –
LETTERMAN: Mm-hmm.
WHOOPI: And it was unmistakable. You knew who it was.
LETTERMAN: Yeah.
WHOOPI: And he said, “I'd like to come and talk to you.” And I like, “Sure!” You, know, Marlon! We're like this, baby! Come to my house!” You know, and againk, a couple of hours go by and I hear the piano downstairs in my house being played. No one played it. I had this fabulous piano in my house – no one played it. And I came down because my mom was visiting me, my brother was visiting me and I knew no one else was supposed to be in the house. So I come down and I sort of, you know, got my baseball bat and I'm peekin' around and Marlon Brando was sitting at my piano because he loved the standards. He loved music. And he just was playing. And I just started laughing.
LETTERMAN: Yeah.
WHOOPI: 'Cause it's like, Marlon Brando's sittin' in my house!
LETTERMAN: That's a great story.
WHOOPI: It's the best.
LETTERMAN: It's a fantastic story. Even if you'd never heard from him after the call, that's something. But to come down and discover Marlon Brando in your house playing the piano, well, there you go. That's pretty good.
WHOOPI: It was pretty good.
LETTERMAN: Yeah. And then you guys obviously hit it off. You became –
WHOOPI: We became friends.
LETTERMAN: What did he want to talk to you about?
WHOOPI: He had a couple of interesting ideas. One was for a movie and one was for a better way to help nations in famine –
LETTERMAN: Mm-hmm.
WHOOPI: – grow food. Nations in famine, he felt, could make relations with nations that were on the sea so that you could grow them under the sea. You know. And it's an idea that people are actually been trying in the last couple of years. But he, you know, he – his whole idea, really, was he liked making the movies, but he really wanted to save the world. That was really what in his heart he wanted to do. It was quite fabulous.
LETTERMAN: Was this an idea that was original with him or an idea that he had read about or heard about and wanted to develop?
WHOOPI: I got the impression that it was an idea that he had heard about in a tiny way and he developed. 'Cause he had, you know, all of the cultivators and all the – you know, he was talking about all that. He wanted to know if it was something I was interested in.
LETTERMAN: And did you persue it? Did you guys follow up on it?
WHOOPI: Well, we talked about it, really, until the last year before he died, because I didn't see him the year he died.